My dearest Car
You have served me well over the past 6 years, and I would just like to offer my sincerest apologies. Yes, I might have been looking around at other models yesterday. I might have dallied with the idea of an upgraded, younger, nippier, more fuel efficient model but I promise I was only looking. I did not actually cheat on you. I did not take another car for a test drive. I was just talking about it, the way you talk about a hot film star. You would never actually (be able to) go there. There is no reason to blow a gasket over this.
Why would I replace you? You are reliable (usually) and are quite quick – you should be with the amount of gas you guzzle. So what if you have been around the block a few (too many) times, have few scratches and dings and a wonky indicator? You are mine (and paid off) and I adore you.
So, please, please accept my sincerest apologies and start. This pettiness is not becoming. I was only looking, I did not realise that it would offend you so much that you would not start when I got out of work yesterday. Have I not treated you well, have you not been pampered when the time is right? Heck, in fact you were even washed and cleaned yesterday morning!
So please, when the mechanic looks at you today, don’t let play up. Just let it be a simple thing, like a spark plug. I promise that I won’t be replacing you any time soon.
Your dear owner and driver