I am beginning to suspect that I don’t write very well or maybe that I should do a bit more proof reading of my posts before I actually post them? Unfortunately that is not me. I am a bit of an impulse girl; I write, I post – people misunderstand. This post is going to be no different – except hopefully for the misunderstanding part. Also this post is not directed at any one person. I received a couple of emails…
It seems I have to clarify two of my previous two posts. So lets start:
I remember when I was 14 I got a radio cassette player for my Birthday. I wanted this player for AGES, I had begged for it, I had pleaded but I did not think my parents would actually buy it for me. When I unwrapped it and saw what it was I quietly said thank you and put it down on the table. I don’t know why I did not jump up and down, why I did not run around, why I did nothing. My mom was very upset. She thought I was not happy to receive it. She was wrong, I was VERY happy. But I had not reacted in they way she thought I would. In fact I had reacted the opposite way of how she thought I would. I think I was scared that it was not real, that somebody would take it away from me or realise how much it actually meant or something. I almost feel like my reaction to being pregnant has been the same. No, I have not jumped up and down, no I have not told everybody, no I am not shouting from the roof tops. But that does not mean that I am not happy or excited. I am very, very happy but I am almost too scared to get excited about it just yet. What if something happens? People have said you should not tell anyone till 12 weeks because up until then it is high risk and I have 2 friends who in the past 3 months have lost their babies at about 7 – 8 weeks. I am scared that somebody takes this away from us, so it is almost as if don’t want to let on how much it actually means to me.
My reaction to that cassette player (which I still have) has bothered me for the past 23 years! Why did I not just jump up and down, why did I not let my mom know how happy I was to have received it. Maybe I will wish I had reacted differently to the first few weeks of this pregnancy. Who knows? But my apparently lack of enthusiasm does not reflect how I actually feel. When on my own I am Googling every little bit of information I can find. I read the entire book “What to expect when you are expecting” in 2 days and have gotten through numerous magazines. I have not (and will not touch alcohol), I have not eaten anything I am not supposed to and have even avoided something’s you can have in moderation (like coffee). I have spoken a lot to people that are expecting or have just had babies. This past weekend we had a family come and stay with us and the wife is expecting their second. That was why I said Mr OL is probably finding me boring. All we all weekend was talk about babies.
However, I have told my friends after week 12 we can celebrate, so that is what I will do here. After week 12 I will celebrate. Well, I probably will be celebrating on Tuesday if everything goes well with the first scan on Monday afternoon – but you will be the first to know.
Last night I went out on a girl’s night. It was to a talk by sexologist Leandi Buys. Hmmmm, not quite what I was expecting, but interesting none the less.
The evening was themed “Light his Fire” and I thought the talk would be along those lines. As in how to get him, well you know…. I think most people who bought tickets were expecting that. It turned out more along the lines off how to get yourself in the mood. Now I am sorry, but if I am going to a talk on how to light his fire, mine is obviously lit? Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with Mr OL’s, but the talk and the theme of the evening just didn’t quite tie up.
All in all it was a fun evening though. They had a singer (a bit too young for the crowd), a girl giving a demonstration on a pole and a person showing various “toys”. I know I am boycotting everything Algoa FM at the moment but the funniest part of the evening was when Leandi got the MC for the evening Selwyn Willis (DJ on Algoa FM) to ask questions written down by the audience. I am not sure if it was the red light above him or if the glow was coming directly from him but shame he was rather red. See if you can see him chuckling away in this photo.
My friends have discovered an unexpected benefit of me being pregnant – they have a designated driver for the next 9 months. I feel so used….
Apparently this girl teaches pole dancing at one of the gyms as a fitness class.
All my friends are beginning to start talking about training for Ironman next year and I am feeling a little left out. Actually I am feeling worse for my poor husband. The poor man has gone from a wife whose conversations revolved almost solely about training to a wife whose conversations seems to revolve solely around babies. AND I SWEAR IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!
It seems to be the first questions people ask me. In fact almost every person that I see starts the conversation like this:
Them: “So are you doing Ironman again next year.”
Me: “Uhm – no”
Them: “Why not?”
Me: “I have just found out I am pregnant.”
Them: “baby talk, baby talk, baby talk.”
I used to think I was a well rounded person, who could hold a conversation on nearly any topic but it appears not. I am beginning to think I am a very boring person.
Ok, so I went from feeling no unpleasant side effects of being pregnant to feeling decidedly icky in one day – yesterday! It feels like a hangover (but isn’t) that just won’t go away. Well I suppose this (entire pregnacy) is a result of too much alcohol too….. We are blaming a night filled with red wine and dart games. We have jokingly said if it is a girl we need to call her Arabella after the bottle(s) of wine we had (on the night we think we concieved).
But dammit all! I am just hoping and praying that I don’t get Morning Sickness as bad as my mom had it with me. She was vomiting for 9 months. The day after she had me she was a kilogram lighter than the day she fell pregnant, so much for picking up weight. The bonus is that she has never picked that weight back up again.
But I am confident – it is not going to happen to me. I am not going to be sick for 9 months, or even 9 weeks, hopefully not even 9 days. The power of positive thinking…… Normally I am pretty good at it, and will myself not to get flu or a cold or whatever and it usually works. Hopefully it works with this too.
Also my running and stuff has taken a bit of a back seat. Not so much because I am pregnant, more because it has been so flippen cold (for us) that I just can’t face heading out in that weather. I have decided that I will not cycle till after I have had the baby. I don’t want to fall of or anything like that. However, I am really excited about getting back in the pool though. I have heard it is good whilst preggies and just as well I thoroughly enjoy it. This weekend there is a midwinter 1 km ocean swim race, but I am a bit chicken for cold weather and water. I should maybe do it though. I don’t think I will fit in my wetsuit this summer.
I am going for my first scan on Monday – quite excited.