Posted in Ordinarylife

I want to be a whale!!!!

without the getting harpponed bit.

I got this on email earlier today and thought it brilliant!

“Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin
and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer,
do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match
those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question
posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing
themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing
wonderful places like Patagonia , the Bering Sea and the coral reefs
of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded
CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators
other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost
everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up
outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity
crisis. Fish or human?

They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to
them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them …
where is IT?

Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to
get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that
only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream
with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a
piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because
we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when
there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.
Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨”


5 thoughts on “I want to be a whale!!!!

  1. And if not a whale, then a bear:
    “In this life I’m a woman but In my next life I’m gonna come back as a bear. When you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that.
    Before you hibernate you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
    When your a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I definitely could deal with that.
    If you’re a mama bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line you swat them too. I could deal with that!
    If you’re a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects you have hairy legs and excess body fat.
    Yup, I’m gonna be a bear! “

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